RECIPE: Sandy Clam

This X-rated drink will make your neighbor’s Buttery Nipple look positively PG-13.

3 oz. Mr. T’s Xtreme Bloody Mary Mix
2 oz. Vladimir Putin brand vodka
½ oz. Baileys Irish Cream
½ oz. banana liqueur
½ oz. Peppermint Schnapps
1/4 oz.10/30 weight motor oil
1/4 can chunk lite Albacore tuna
Dash sand

Mix the bloody mary mix, vodka and Irish cream together thoroughly in an extra high highball glass, dropping in bits of tuna as you do so. On top of this, float the banana liqueur and remaining tuna. Top off with the Peppermint Schnapps and motor oil for that Exxon Valdez effect. Garnish with sand and serve just above room temperature.